


The Fox and The Trainwreck

by kittensandgirls



Category: Drawn Together (Cartoon)
Genre: Cartoon Fic, Dark Comedy, Dramedy, F/F, Femslash, Fundamentalism, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mediocore Writing, Prominently Female Cast, Sadness, Sarcasm, Sex-positivity, Slut Shaming, Surprisingly Snarky!Foxxy, Toot's more depressed, binge eating, happiness, innuendos, sassiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-23
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-07-16 18:21:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7278790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittensandgirls/pseuds/kittensandgirls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Toot gave out an inaudible groan. Foxxy meant everything, Toot meant nothing. Suddenly, an idea popped into the colorless one's head. Maybe Someone could help her learn how to be at least something?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"WOOOAH, baby!" A certain Fox/Musician hybrid sang, tearing off her sleeping mask. Getting up from a short but enjoyable night's sleep, she pranced into the kitchen, loudly declaring that she "needs her coffee tonight.... YEAH!"  
"It's the morning." A tired-looking ex-flapper commented plainly.  
"Well, you's know's what I's was meaning to say." Foxxy responded good-naturedly, poring herself a cup of hot joe.  
Toot sighed, reflecting sadly on those three bowls of cereal that she already ate. Last night she had the misfortune of binging on every last tub of ice cream there was in the fridge instead of sleeping. Foxxy, on the other hand? She went out with Kyle from The Local Library on the night Kyle from The Local Library was supposed to hand out Captain Hero's late fees.

 

Toot gave out an inaudible groan. To some Foxxy meant everything, to everyone Toot meant nothing.  
Suddenly, an idea popped into the colorless one's head. Maybe she didn't have to spend her life as a miserable sack of fatass tears?  
And even better, maybe, just maybe, she didn't have to fulfill this goal alone?

Toot's mind raced for what housemates would tolerate the burden of motivating her. "Captain Hero? Uggh, let wait 'till he reaches an emotional age over 13. Princess Clara? No, she'll just send me off to her kingdom's adjacent "Pray The Calories Away" camp. Wooldoor Sockbat? Oh, he was away filming that kid's show of his. Ling-Ling? He'll ask me to do his chores for him in return and then violently maul me when I'm finished. Xandir? No, he-actually, wait! Xandir can actually help me!!"  
Toot broke her train of thought and gleefully jumped out of her chair. Today is the day she'll define a better, healthier, happier, and maybe even more attractive Toot Braunstein and stick with that girl for the rest of her life. "Foxxy!" She yelped to the girl in orange. "This is going to be the best day of my life!"  
"Why?" Foxxy retorted. "Is the Winermobile celebratin' its anniversary with an All-Y'all-Can-Eat-Buffet?"  
"Ha, ha, very funny." Toot growled. "Actually, for your information Foxxy, I've decided to map out a plan to start brand new life with a brand new positive attitude, and I'm gonna ask Xandir if he'll be the one willing to help me. You'll be saying hi to the new Toot in no time!"  
"Woah, woah girl, think 'bout pressing those brakes." Foxxy responded. "First of all, you's getting a fancy new attitude isn't something that happens in one morning. I mean, I's don't know 'cause this Foxxy here has always been-" she flipped her ponytail-"flawless, but I'm pretty sure it's goddam hard work! Do you's think it's realistic that you's just started talking about gaining a new life lifestyle all the sudden?"  
Toot opened her mouth to say something, but decided to pause for a moment to think about what Foxxy had up just said. "Foxxy, you're right." Toot responded solemnly. "Gaining a better attitude is nothing like gaining nine pounds, it actually requires effort. Maybe I'm just not ready to change my life." The stoutly girl hung her head down.  
Foxxy flashed a genuine, symphatheic smile. "Toot, both my parents was speakers of words of wisdom. Papa, fo' example, told me 15 years ago I ain't never gonna need to worry 'cause he'd gonna be back from buying them cigarettes in ten minutes. Mama, for example, told me 15 years ago you can do anything you's put your mind to, if you're willing to take it one step at a time."  
After hearing this, Toot was so encouraged that she went so far as to do something that she hadn't done since she the days when she was a cheery girl without a worry in the world, before that damn babysitter showed up.  
She gave a weak grin.  
"Also, just wondering, why's you's picked Xandir to be you's life coach?" Foxxy asked.  
"Well, would any other housemates actually care?"  
"Okay, Toot, that's may be the smartest point you've made in a long time, but Xandir just left fo' the week to help out on the set of Wooldoor's Happy Stupid Kid's Show."  
...."What?!" Toot squeaked.


	2. Chapter 2

"So, Foxxy, who's house did you clean last night?" Princess Clara asked innocently. She and Foxxy were sitting on the couch with Wooldoor, and were watching a boring ass documentary about cartoon characters who seeked refuge in other shows.   
Foxxy rolled her eyes at Clara's remark. "Fo' yo information, Princess, I's went out on a date with Kyle From the Local Library. We's went to Kyle From the Local Library's crib and were snogging for awhile, but then I decided that Kyle From the Local Library was a 8/10 in looks and 6/10 in personality, so I's left Kyle From the Local Library and came home in some Taxi cab."  
"'Kyle From the Local Library' Is that some nickname that rappers are calling themselves these days?"  
"No Clara, she literally meant that guy named Kyle who works behind the desk at our town's library, Weeee!"  
Clara cringed. "It's sickening how you show no respect for yourself in actions and appearance. How DARE you deface your own temple in such sinful graffiti!"  
Foxxy and Wooldoor blinked twice in confusion.   
"What I mean, is that how you expose your tasteless lifestyle with such apathy!"   
"Totes thought she was gonna go waaaaaayyy dirtier with that line." Foxxy whispered to the Sockbat. "Okay, Clara," the musician began, "I think you need to understand that no matter if gal wears a bikini or a niqab, or has been with so many guys she lost count or has never talked to a man in her life, it ain't got nothing to do with how much respect she has, or how successful she is, or how intelligent she be. Let's just do what we y'all want, and mind our own goddamn businesses!"  
"Yeah, Clara," Wooldoor chimed in. "You're overreacting."   
"Overreacting?" Princess Clara yelled. "Let's see you's overreacting when your wicked souls reach the gates of hell, HELL!" And just like that, the Princess disappeared in thin air.   
"I know we're cartoons and all." Toot commented, just walking in to put some plates in the   
sink, "but I didn't think she could do that."  
"It's 'cause that Clara's a witch." Foxxy mumbled.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Cliffhanger, hahahaha! I had so much fun writing this, especially doing Foxxy's dialogue and adding little reference to the source material. Next chapter will be here soon! (In fanfic speak, that means I won't add anything for five years.)


End file.
